1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:09,360 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,440 Thank you, everybody, for being here today, on this 3 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,000 year anniversary. Actually, it's... 4 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:28,640 SOBBING: ..right about exactly now that... 5 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,880 ..that tragedy occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary... 6 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:37,960 and 27 people became angels. 7 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,320 On 14 December, 2012, 8 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,560 gunman Adam Lanza entered an elementary school and shot dead 9 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:54,000 20 children and six teachers. 10 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:00,400 We heard every single bullet. 11 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,520 We heard people crying. 12 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:07,200 We heard, actually, the people's death, themselves. 13 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,000 With the shooter 14 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,520 going back and forth, to make sure he gets all the kids, 15 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,800 she probably got, you know, into maybe more than one piece, 16 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,640 maybe in multiple pieces. Maybe she was not recognisable. 17 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,400 Jesse was 18 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,160 brutally shot and murdered while he was in his class 19 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,600 and I'll think, "Is that... Could that possible be true?" 20 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:04,280 That morning, you know, Neil pulls up, I walk Jesse out, 21 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,320 as I usually do and then 22 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:10,160 I remember turning around and seeing that Jesse had written 23 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,800 on my car, "I love you", with little hearts etched 24 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,320 in the windows in the frost. 25 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:18,440 I was so present that I thought, "Oh, my... This is a moment. 26 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,200 "This is one of those moments. You need to capture it." 27 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,240 And he had these goofy teeth in, 28 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,840 that you can't tell in the picture, because it's over-exposed. 29 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,240 Jesse loved these goofy teeth. He wore them all the time, 30 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,720 not just on Halloween. 31 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,840 And then I just took him, you know, hugged him, 32 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,680 said, "Have a great day. "I'll see you tomorrow night," 33 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,720 and off he went with his dad. 34 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,200 On the morning of 14 December, 35 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,360 families across Newtown in Connecticut sent their children 36 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,320 to Sandy Hook Elementary School. 37 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,200 Started like any other day, 38 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:01,360 where I had breakfast with the kids, got Daniel on the bus, 39 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:02,440 came back up to the house 40 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,520 and then for whatever reason, it occurred to me, I'm like, 41 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,520 "Oh, Daniel forgot his library book." 42 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:16,280 So, I kissed the kids, picked up the book and drove to Sandy Hook. 43 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:22,880 I went to work, as usual, and this instance message popped up, 44 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,560 "There's been a shooting at a school in Newtown." 45 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:32,240 And I was kind of like, "Hmmm." I didn't think that it was real. 46 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,120 Lauren Rousseau was a teacher at the school. 47 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,760 That morning, her father Gilles was at home. 48 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:47,040 My brother called me and said there was a shooting in a school 49 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,080 in Newtown. He didn't know which one. 50 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,000 And then, we turn on the television and we found out, 51 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,400 you know, the little ticker tape, on the bottom of the screen 52 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,560 saying, you know, "Shooting in Newtown. 53 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,800 "Somebody got shot in the foot." 54 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:04,080 So then I walked from my car to the front entrance of the building 55 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,000 and then, at that moment, I heard 56 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:11,120 the firing of a gun and the shots being fired. 57 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:15,600 And it was deafening. It was overwhelming. 58 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:22,400 It was right there. I mean, it was so close and it was like... 59 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:29,920 There was no thinking involved. There was... It was just...run. 60 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,120 Run....as fast as you can, away. 61 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:43,920 And it wasn't until I ran and was hiding that I, you know, 62 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:51,160 that I had that thought that, "Oh, my God...", you know, 63 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,520 that Daniel... "..Daniel's in there." 64 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,360 POLICE COMMS: 'Sandy Hook School. Caller's indicating 65 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,040 'that she thinks that someone's shooting in the building.' 66 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,520 On the radio, I was hearing things from the dispatch, 67 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:13,000 cos there is a radio in my truck, and it was, you know, "Send everybody." 68 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,440 And the dispatcher sort of saying, "What do you mean, send everybody?" 69 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,080 The police, you know, just saying, "Send everyone. 70 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,760 "Send anyone that is around." 71 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:25,280 I think I woke up to a text message from a friend of mine, 72 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:28,560 you know, saying that there was, like, a school shooting. 73 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,280 And then, watching the news, 74 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:34,520 even at that moment, 75 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,360 I was, like, "Ah, Lauren's fine, Don't worry about it." 76 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,720 Just, you know, played it off fine. 77 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:45,120 So, I kept having people call, with just little bits of information. 78 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,840 I found out that a teacher was shot in the foot 79 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,800 before I got to the school and I thought "Well, it's a situation 80 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:55,440 "with a boyfriend," you know? "A jealous boyfriend came and shot 81 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,520 "the teacher in the foot, which is horrible, but, you know, 82 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:02,040 "we'll just go and pick up Jesse. He'll probably need to be consoled. 83 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,560 "I'm sure it was a scary situation." 84 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:08,880 The phone was ringing, at that point, and it was Barb 85 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:14,120 and she said, "Rob, I'm here. I said, "I'm going to the scene", 86 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,160 you know, that sort of thing. 87 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,800 And the best I can remember of the conversation was, she says, 88 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,440 "I know. I'm at the school." And she says, "I'm hiding." 89 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,720 And I thought, "You're hiding under a desk?" 90 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,360 So, my words to you were, "Stay low 91 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:33,640 "and I'll be there soon." And you said something to the effect of, 92 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,240 "Make sure the twins are OK", 93 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,720 to the effect of, like, "I won't be coming out of this, 94 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,600 "so you take care of the kids." 95 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,800 I have this vivid, vivid memory of thinking to myself, 96 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,120 "My son is in that building." 97 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:56,200 And...just, like, wanting to go get him. 98 00:06:56,200 --> 00:07:01,760 And I had this other thought of, "I have two children at home." 99 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:07,360 And so, there was this...this...dilemma. 100 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:13,440 I remember this, "Do I run inside and get Daniel" 101 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:18,720 "or do I stay alive, you know, for the children I have at home?" 102 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:19,760 Argh! 103 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,000 The train station's moving! 104 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,600 Argh! I don't want to die! 105 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:33,160 When I arrived, thinking that my wife was no longer with us, 106 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:37,600 you know, I saw her escorted by the police 107 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,080 across the parking lot, so I was the first person 108 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,880 who, kind of, had that...that relief, 109 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,280 knowing that a family member was OK. 110 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,200 And then...I saw Daniel. 111 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,520 I knew that my family, that day, was complete. 112 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:03,200 It was just a huge relief to see Daniel coming out of the building. 113 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:11,320 Not many people know this. Only, I think, a few of the mums and dads 114 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:16,000 and kids who were there knew this, but the speaker was on at the time. 115 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,280 So, could you hear stuff when the speaker was on? 116 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:20,880 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 117 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,720 DISTANT GUNSHOT-LIKE NOISE 118 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:24,760 Like that. 119 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,840 Well, um... 120 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,920 ..let's just say, it was real harsh. 121 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,560 There was, um... 122 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:43,640 We heard every single bullet, We heard people crying, 123 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:48,080 we heard, actually, the people's death, themselves. 124 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,600 It was real harsh. I won't get into too many details, 125 00:08:53,600 --> 00:09:00,080 because, well, let's just say that most of my feelings, 126 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,920 I usually keep to myself. 127 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:08,200 And...now that it's happened, not many people just talk. 128 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,640 SIREN 129 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,520 RADIO COMMS: 'There's still shooting going on. Please.' 130 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,760 'All right. Get everybody you can going down there.' 131 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:26,520 And I ran to the firehouse, knowing from people that had been calling me, 132 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,200 that the parents were supposed to be meeting at the firehouse, 133 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,280 so I knew that. 134 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,600 It's Lauren's school. They don't know if Lauren's alive or not 135 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,360 and it's just, like, big chaos. 136 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:42,360 So I'm seeing, you know, happy reunions and I'm just looking 137 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:47,920 for Jesse's head in the sea of people and kids, you know, coming in 138 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,880 and I don't see him, but I'm not particularly panicked. 139 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,920 The day progressed. The first two or three hours, I was just like, 140 00:09:55,920 --> 00:10:01,200 "I'm sure she's fine. She just has to...go through procedure, 141 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,640 "talk to people, if she was there, 142 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,920 "so she couldn't contact us immediately." 143 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,600 'So I'm walking around to any' 144 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,400 official-looking person standing in the firehouse, 145 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,440 saying, "Have you seen my son, Jesse Lewis, eight? I can't find him." 146 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,520 After the first wave of kids came out, like you said, 147 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,560 maybe about ten classes, the police shut it down 148 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,520 and said, "Wait a minute. There may be more people out here. 149 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,720 "We need protect and make sure the scene is safe." 150 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:34,560 So, I started walking up towards the school and this big guy 151 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:39,400 with grenades strapped to his belt and an AK-47 over his shoulder, 152 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:43,240 said, "I'm sorry, I can't let you through." 153 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,920 I said "I'm just looking for my son and he's not at the firehouse, 154 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,800 "so I'm thinking he's at the school and I'm going to go get him." 155 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,400 "We're not letting anybody in. We're sweeping the school." 156 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,640 He said, "The kids are hiding." 157 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:58,600 I thought "Oh, of course. Jesse, Protector Jesse, 158 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:03,480 "he's hiding somewhere and it's going to take them hours to find him, 159 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,000 "cos he's so resourceful." 160 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,800 At that point, they were saying - around three, four o'clock - 161 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:17,000 "It's not looking too good." And I was actually pretty pissed off! 162 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,960 "How could you say that?" 163 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,560 I don't think my brain 164 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:26,720 was fully functioning, in a cognitive sort of way right then 165 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,480 and there was a doctor that - I guess he was a doctor - 166 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:34,080 that walked up to us and he knelt down on one knee and just said... 167 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,520 "There's no easy way to say this. Your son's dead." 168 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:42,600 So, I just...turned, "Thank you." 169 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:46,080 Turned from him and JT and I just huddled. 170 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:11,120 I had to work that evening. I bartended with another bartender 171 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:15,400 that night, but I got to work - I still was high hopes, 172 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,800 thought she was going to be OK. I texted her a little earlier 173 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:24,440 saying, you know, "Text us back, Lauren. Mum's freaking out." 174 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,320 Around 8.30, I was able to get out of work 175 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,920 and, at that moment, I was freaking out. 176 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,480 Kind of hit me out of nowhere. 177 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,800 At one o'clock in the morning, there is... I hear a knock on the door, 178 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,800 downstairs in my studio... 179 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,440 ..and I knew what it was. 180 00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,920 Our brother met me 181 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,440 in the kitchen. He goes, "Did you hear?" 182 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,160 I said "What?" 183 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,560 He said, "Lauren passed away." 184 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:31,240 Adam Lanza entered the classroom and started shooting. 185 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,760 And killed Miss Soto, Jesse's beloved teacher. 186 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:43,640 And Jesse was standing a little in front and to the side of her 187 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:47,680 and...his gun ran out of bullets. 188 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:53,160 So, there was a delay, a few seconds delay, 189 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:57,360 where I guess he had his magazines taped together 190 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,720 and he had to take it out and change it. 191 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:04,800 And Jesse, during that delay, called to his friends, 192 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:09,560 who were standing on the other side of the room...to run. 193 00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:15,320 And the survivor... the surviving kids said that it was because 194 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,600 Jesse called out that they ran. 195 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:22,320 Then, the shooter reloaded his gun and shot Jesse 196 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:26,200 and then started, I guess, killed whoever else was in the room. 197 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,200 'It's a laptop, not a computer.' 198 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,840 They're both the same thing. No. 199 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,520 'I've never really had something more scary happen to me in my life.' 200 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:42,040 It, pretty much, was a time of fear. 201 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:46,200 When I say fear, I mean, like, FEAR. 202 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:52,720 No-one's really accepted it. That's kind of odd. Believe me. 203 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,360 So, can you explain what happened? 204 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:59,240 Oh...yeah...um... 205 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,520 I think I'm just going to keep that to myself. 206 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,600 'That day,' 207 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:15,240 to have run from that awesome responsibility of protecting him... 208 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,320 ..you know... 209 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,840 ..it's shameful. 210 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,280 Does that bother you? 211 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,200 Sometimes. 212 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,600 Like, it's a betrayal, you know. A little. 213 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,360 'I don't think it's a rational thought. 214 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,320 'And I don't think that Daniel 215 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:42,200 'would ever see it that way, but there's a little part of me that, 216 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:46,160 when I think about 12/14, in the context of his experience, 217 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,480 there's always a part of me that is begging his forgiveness... 218 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:57,280 ..that he'll forgive me for being human and running. 219 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,400 PRESIDENT OBAMA: The majority of those who died today were children. 220 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,200 Beautiful little kids, 221 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,400 between the ages of five and ten years old. 222 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,400 Among the fallen were also teachers - 223 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,480 men and women who devoted their lives to helping our children 224 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:35,720 fulfil their dreams. So, our hearts are broken today. 225 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:09,800 Almost a year after the massacre, those who lost loved ones are trying 226 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,280 to find ways of moving forward with their lives. 227 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:20,600 I have felt pain every single day, several times a day, 228 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:25,120 sometimes, excruciating. I've been curled up in a little ball. 229 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:29,960 I have my moments and I try to limit them to when I am sitting 230 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,120 on the bench in front of his tombstone and I let myself cry. 231 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,840 What's that? This is a mask. My mask. That's pretty cool. 232 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:42,560 Yeah, I drawed on it. See? See me, with the mask? I do. It's cool. 233 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,760 'A social worker had come to the house' 234 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:48,840 and had bent down at my knee and put her hand on my leg 235 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:52,800 and really sincerely said, "I know how you're feeling 236 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,320 "because I lost MY son." 237 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:59,040 I said, "Oh, that's just horrible." 238 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,560 And she said, "And I'm here to tell you that the pain 239 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,400 "will never get better. You will never feel any better 240 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,520 "than you are feeling right now." 241 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,760 And this was, I think, less than a week, 242 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:15,040 maybe a week after Jesse had died. And I just said, "Stop right there", 243 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:19,280 you know. "That is, absolutely, 244 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,320 "not going to be, you know, my journey. 245 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:27,800 "That's yours. But I don't want to place that limitation on mine. 246 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,560 "My journey is going to be my own." 247 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:34,760 I made a decision right there. "OK, this is going to be what I make it 248 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,600 "and I'm not going to make it that." 249 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:41,840 And that was...that was really... It was interesting, 250 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:47,120 because sometimes these terrible experiences are your best teachers 251 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:51,000 and she was a great teacher for me, because it made me realise 252 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:55,400 that I DID have the choice to make this journey my own. 253 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,280 And I made it right there. 254 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:04,360 All right. These things, can you move them downstairs, please? Mum. 255 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:09,280 Downstairs, in the basement. Yeah, it's dirty. These are new socks. 256 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,120 And dirt gets on socks. 257 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,680 The socks get dirty. We're making great strides, great strides. 258 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,320 Nice(!) 259 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,080 Careful, that box is very heavy. 260 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,280 Oh, my God. 261 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,000 Now you tell me this. 262 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:37,320 'I'm pretty strong, I think, but 11 months and, 263 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:43,600 as far as getting back, I guess what I'm saying, to a normal life, 264 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:47,680 we have to find and navigate a new normal. 265 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:54,160 Remy, stop! You can't eat the chickens. No, I'm sorry. 266 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:58,840 I know. You're like, "Why not? "Dude, are you kidding me?" 267 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,440 You can't beg, either. 268 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,520 'Whenever we go to the movies,' 269 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:07,600 we'd play the duck machine, where the claw goes, you pick up the duck. 270 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,240 And somehow I get really good at jamming the machine, 271 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,280 so that they just keep going. You can win unlimited stuff. 272 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,320 And you could do that with the duck? 273 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,760 Yeah. I don't know. It just kept breaking every time. Really? Yeah. 274 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,240 So, we won all of these there. You put a dollar in 275 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:27,680 and you had win, but it never ended. You were duck king. That was awesome. 276 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,320 Jesse walked away with 20 ducks. 277 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,160 Yeah. Do you remember that? Every time. Yeah. That was really nice. 278 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,240 You know, I almost immediately got rid of his bunk beds 279 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,480 because he never used them and my friend needed them, 280 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,920 so I didn't really have an attachment that was hard to do. 281 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:48,600 But I found a treasure underneath, which was unwashed pyjamas. 282 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,240 So, that was good. He had little 283 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:56,120 plastic soldiers and he like to play those with me. 284 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:59,880 Like, set up forts and put the army guys together and everything. 285 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,440 All 10,000 of them. 286 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,760 I mean, these are his famous army boots... 287 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,240 ..that I had no idea they were so worn out. 288 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,880 Look at that, and he still wore them. 289 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,360 The boots he's buried in were just like this. 290 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:29,000 This is actually his candy from Halloween 2012. 291 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,000 I don't know what to do with it... 292 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,120 SHE SNIFFLES 293 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,160 I can't throw it out. 294 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,080 Show me how you make a snow angel. 295 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:47,720 OK. 296 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,080 Even in a country used to school shootings, many people 297 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,960 believed the Sandy Hook massacre would be a turning point 298 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,800 in America's relationship with guns. 299 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:09,160 President Obama put forward two new gun-control bills. 300 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,600 But 12 months later, neither bill has been passed by Congress. 301 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,800 Lauren Rousseau's two brothers, Matthew and Andrew, 302 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,400 have come to the capital to attend a service for all 303 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,680 victims of gun violence, and focus attention on the issue. 304 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:31,560 One year after the Sandy Hook shootings, we Americans still live 305 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,680 with an epidemic of gun violence, that has claimed an additional, 306 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:40,720 we estimate, 32,000 lives since last December 14th. 307 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,960 'In DC, we'll be letting Congress know that we're a little 308 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:51,120 'disappointed that nothing can be said for this one year' 309 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:57,760 of my sister being dead and her... her classroom of children being dead. 310 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,400 Lauren never touched a gun, 311 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:04,080 and she had no experience whatsoever with gun violence before that day. 312 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,920 I wish we could say that for all the children in America. 313 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,920 32,000 deaths, I mean, how can you put that on the news? 314 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:17,480 That would be news dedicated to that - gun deaths, 315 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,320 and nobody wants to see that. 316 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,600 Nobody wants to see the reality in it. 317 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,120 If you haven't done anything, you must think, "What we have is OK." 318 00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:29,480 Is there a higher number of people you want to see dead 319 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:30,880 before we do anything? 320 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,240 We'll be handing out Christmas cards. 321 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,040 I don't know if there'll be any lawmakers there. 322 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:47,360 'We'll also be talking to the press and showing our presence there.' 323 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,640 How you doing today? We're all here from the Newtown Foundation. 324 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:56,560 Join us for people who are affected by gun violence. 325 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,680 Tomorrow...around 3:45, 326 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,440 we're doing a national vigil for all gun-violence victims. 327 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,440 If you'd like to join, or the Congressman...? 328 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,040 Fantastic, I'll pass it along. 329 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,680 CAMPAIGNER: Thank you, thank you for your time today. 330 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,120 'I don't know how my sister would have taken it,' 331 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:12,520 if it was my brother or I... 332 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,720 would have been, I know, much much worse for her, so... 333 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:21,080 Yeah, she would be doing much more, I think, actually. 334 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,120 That's just... She's just that type of person. 335 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,640 Good afternoon, my name is Gilles Rousseau, 336 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:49,280 my daughter Lauren was a 30-year-old teacher at Sandy Hook. 337 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:55,400 We know that the grief we're all living is shared 338 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,640 by all the families affected. 339 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,000 GILLES EXHALES 340 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:06,760 With my dad, he's coping with this stuff much differently than 341 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,280 I am, at least, you know. 342 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,800 It took me over a year, you know, 366 days for me 343 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,520 to actually talk to anybody, really, about it. 344 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:21,200 But, you know, my dad is obviously finding some sort of healing in it. 345 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,680 So that... You know, it's great for him to find some healing. 346 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:34,400 We are here today, with the common goal of remembering our loved ones. 347 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:38,040 Acts of kindness and efforts to promote just cause 348 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:42,960 are the best way to keep the memory of the victim of gun violence alive. 349 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,880 'It could take the majority of my life to try to understand it.' 350 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,080 I went to therapy for a while after and, uh... 351 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:55,360 ..didn't like to talk about it. 352 00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:57,400 I don't want to... 353 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,000 takes it all in and just, you know... 354 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,640 ..sits there depressed or sad, 355 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,920 but...stay strong mentally, at the same time. 356 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,560 But trying to battle those two is... can be tough sometimes. 357 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,240 Very tough. 358 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,320 But she was just, really, as loving as it gets. 359 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,240 You know, every time I came home it was a big hug. 360 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:23,560 HE LAUGHS 361 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,440 She was so short, in comparison... 362 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,480 I was about 13 inches taller than her, too, 363 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,240 so it was always such a small body hug. 364 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,120 But I did love those hugs. 365 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,400 HE SNIFFLES 366 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,480 When you think of stuff like that... it's... 367 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,320 it's tough to think that you'll never get it again. 368 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,480 Shortly after the tragedy, rumours started to circulate on 369 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,560 the internet that the whole event 370 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,040 had been staged to justify greater gun control. 371 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,440 You guys want a sandwich or some soup? Um, no, thanks. 372 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:26,760 It was within the first three weeks that we got our first phone call 373 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:30,200 at the fire department, you know, saying that, you know, 374 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,400 these are actors, and...the individual, the officer that answered 375 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:38,560 the phone was so...was so taken aback, it was almost, it was almost 376 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:42,360 a moment where he said, "No, we're not actors." And, 377 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:44,400 "No, what are you talking about?" 378 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,600 You know, and, "Fine, whatever..." 379 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,040 and hung up on him. 380 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,120 And he kind of looked at us - 381 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:53,160 there was a bunch of the officers all sitting around - and he says, 382 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,880 "Somebody just called and said we faked the whole thing." 383 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,880 Daniel's mother, Barbara, felt compelled to speak out. 384 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:05,920 I needed to get the message out that this really happened. 385 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,600 And in the meantime, I looked at my phone 386 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:12,640 and all these messages had been left by the producer from Katie Couric 387 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,800 and, um, and I asked Rob and he said, "Yes, let's do it." 388 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:20,160 But Rob and Barbara were unprepared for the public reaction 389 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,800 to their appearance on the ABC network's Katie Couric chat show. 390 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,160 I started scrolling through the comments, 391 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:34,800 and the best way I can describe how I felt as I read these 392 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:39,320 comments of people who had the luxury of hiding 393 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:43,120 behind their computer screens, was I felt like I was being raped. 394 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:49,760 At some point, if you search my name it says that I'm an actor 395 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:53,080 and in other ones it says that I'm Special Operations. 396 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:57,320 Mine just says "Liar" underneath my picture. 397 00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,560 I tried to imagine who are these people that would say such 398 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:04,800 things and, oh, my God, how lucky they are. 399 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,080 You know, how nice it must be. 400 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:13,920 How blissfully ignorant it must be to not experience what 401 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,760 everyone around us has experienced. 402 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:22,800 How wonderful for them, how fantastic that they don't 403 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,240 have to live what we live every day. 404 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:29,160 Good for them. Good for fucking them that they can do that. 405 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:32,640 You know, I don't have that luxury, but good for them. 406 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,840 This crazy person who called up and said he's going to do the same 407 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,640 thing that happened to Sandy Hook Elementary. 408 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:45,960 He was going to do the same thing to... 409 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,760 At first it's kind of scary 410 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,200 but it's just life. 411 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,600 INTERVIEWER: What? People going into schools with guns? 412 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,440 Well, it's got to happen once in a while. 413 00:29:56,440 --> 00:30:00,920 I know it's a bad thing but every place has those times when they 414 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,200 get shot and stuff. 415 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,600 I'm not saying that it's a good thing, or anything, 416 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,200 but just there's always those times... 417 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,560 where it's just going to happen. 418 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:15,520 There are at least thousands or millions of schools who have 419 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,960 experienced this. It just happens to be that we... That we had more 420 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,400 people killed, and it was an elementary school. 421 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:29,360 'You have these conversations that you don't ever imagine 422 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,560 'having with your own child. 423 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:36,440 'The other day, Stevie was having some issues with, kind of, sleeping 424 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,680 'and just calming down a little bit, I guess. 425 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,240 'And I asked him, I just said, 426 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,120 ' "Stevie, is everything OK?" ' 427 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,280 You know, "You doing all right there, bud?" 428 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,320 And em... 429 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,520 he looks up at me and he goes, you know, 430 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,120 "It's a good thing you're not dead, right, Mum?" 431 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,560 And I said, "Well, "what do you mean, honey?" 432 00:30:56,560 --> 00:31:00,640 And he said, "Well, the bad man who came to my school." 433 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:04,640 He goes, "It's a good thing he didn't get you." 434 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:08,760 And I said, "You're right, honey. It's a good thing he didn't get me. 435 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,800 "But he's dead now, and he can't hurt anybody else." 436 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:18,080 And he said, "Well, I'm in first grade at Sandy Hook School now. 437 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:19,920 "Is it my turn to die?" 438 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,200 I said, "No, baby, it's not your turn to die." 439 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:29,720 You know, "Nobody is coming again to do what that man did. 440 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:34,320 "You're safe and you're safe at school and you're safe at home, 441 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,760 "and you'll be OK." 442 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,960 Em... 443 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,040 and the sad thing is... 444 00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:47,360 ..I... 445 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,200 You know, there's no guarantee, you know. 446 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:12,720 Thank you, everybody, for being here today on this, er, year anniversary. 447 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,760 Actually, it's, er... 448 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:21,480 SOBBING: ..right about exactly now that, erm... 449 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,400 ..that tragedy occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary. 450 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:33,640 And I just want to say what heroes both of my boys are. 451 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:41,000 Jesse - heroically trying to save nine kids from that classroom, 452 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:45,280 and JT taking his personal tragedy 453 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,920 and turning it into something tangible, 454 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:52,760 that has actually changed people's lives and will continue to do that. 455 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,400 So proud of both of them. 456 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:59,480 They're both MY heroes and I can only hope to 457 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:04,320 fulfil my purpose on Earth as bravely as they have fulfilled theirs. 458 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,480 CHEERING 459 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:23,200 'I really do feel like Jesse's behind me in this and pushing me 460 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,840 'along the way. 461 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:28,280 'It was pretty early on, I saw that message on the chalkboard.' 462 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,520 Phonetically spelled... 463 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:34,600 ..in six-year-old handwriting. 464 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,240 Nurturing, healing and love. 465 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,520 And I knew that he had written it shortly before he died. 466 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,760 I started a journal, 467 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,120 so we worked from the journal and the book came about. 468 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:55,120 And it seems that it is being received as it was intended. 469 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,920 Trying to cultivate healing in a nation and get 470 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:02,000 Jesse's message out, which I do believe to be profound. 471 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,800 INDISTINCT CHATTER 472 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:22,120 Scarlett, how does it feel like to hold this book in your hands? 473 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,560 I really set out to make this personal tragedy, 474 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:29,720 a tragedy of many people, into something that is going to 475 00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:33,320 help the world be a better and safer place. 476 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:37,360 I believe that December 14th was the 477 00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,840 greatest day of compassion the world has ever known. 478 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:44,880 And the two choices that we all make are living our lives in faith, 479 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,960 or living our lives in fear. 480 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,680 Right? You may not consciously... 481 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:51,640 'As well as writing a book, Scarlett has also set up 482 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,600 'a foundation in her son's memory.' 483 00:34:55,240 --> 00:34:59,520 She is being powered by such a strong message, that there's 484 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,360 no way that you can run out of energy on something like that. 485 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:07,040 She's also been invited to the White House to talk about social and 486 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,560 emotional learning in schools and to seek better funding for the kind 487 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,040 of mental health projects that, she feels, 488 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,480 might have helped the gunman, Adam Lanza. 489 00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:19,200 Hi, Kay. 490 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,440 Hey. I have JT here with me, too. 491 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,440 We want to talk to you about Newtown Helps Rwanda. 492 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,920 Since his brother's death, JT has found a new focus, as well. 493 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:33,800 I'm raising money so that I can send Rwandan genocide victims to 494 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,360 college for four years. 495 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:41,360 'I'm selling bracelets and I'm getting donations. 496 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,400 'I didn't like talking about what had happened. 497 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:46,000 'I can't just sit in a room' 498 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,080 and tell someone who has no credentials to me. 499 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,520 So, I just... I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone about it. 500 00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:59,240 'I Skype with the Rwandans. They reached out to me cos they heard 501 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:04,360 'what happened in my home town and they wanted to help me get through it. 502 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,360 'They told me what it was like for them to go through the genocide 503 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,800 'that they went through.' 504 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:11,600 I didn't want to Skype with them, 505 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:14,440 I just figured it would be another one of these therapists or 506 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,520 another person who wants to talk and help. 507 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,760 But, erm, it turned out to be very good. 508 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,680 Together, Scarlett and JT 509 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,640 are also taking Jesse's message into prisons, in the hope 510 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,120 that they might reach some of the most potentially 511 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,800 violent men in society. 512 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:45,800 A lot of people had jumped on the anti-gun, which is great. 513 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:51,680 But in my mind, that's a SYMPTOM of a fearful society, right? 514 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:56,720 And, erm, I thought what really started this... 515 00:36:56,720 --> 00:36:58,840 this tragedy... 516 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:03,000 was an angry thought, at some point, in Adam Lanza's head, 517 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,320 that escalated. 518 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:09,560 This angry thought, erm, in this little boy's head, 519 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:14,160 that he didn't have the tools or the nurturing environment... 520 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,520 to handle, right? 521 00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:23,720 So, anger feels bad, and so, at some point, he did what a lot of us do, 522 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:28,400 and I still sometimes do, we blame someone, right? 523 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:32,840 Because I'm sure everybody in here has somebody who, you know, 524 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:37,120 hurt you terribly. It's just a choice to forgive them. 525 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:40,480 It's just a choice, then it's a process. 526 00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,240 The way I was brought up in the streets is that, 527 00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:48,320 let's say you were to hurt one of my friends or somebody that I love... 528 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:53,120 my first thought is going to get you or hurt you right back. 529 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:56,240 My question to you is, like, how do you do it? 530 00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:58,680 How do you tell yourself, like, you know... 531 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,000 "You know what, it's OK." 532 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,520 If I wanted to hurt someone because they hurt me, 533 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,560 then when does it stop? 534 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,600 Then you hurt someone and they hurt someone 535 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:13,040 and you're in this negative, revolving thing that doesn't end. 536 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:17,720 I've been living in fear because of the life I chose. 537 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:24,160 But...if you was able to cope with losing a son... 538 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,080 ..I can do it. 539 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:33,000 I have the same murderous thoughts sometimes. I'm not above that. 540 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,400 But I have the same choice and the same willpower 541 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,760 and determination that you guys have. 542 00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,080 You guys have it within you. 543 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:44,040 You just have to access it, and maybe even know that it's there, 544 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,880 and that you have that choice. 545 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,080 A lot of people have that fear of... 546 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:54,320 ..interacting with 547 00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:57,960 individuals who have lived this type of lifestyle. 548 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:02,840 Being exposed to guns and violence and, erm, 549 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,560 I mean, for you to come in, that's life-changing right there. 550 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,840 I mean, that's just, that's awesome. 551 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,360 I don't judge you. 552 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,400 I don't judge you guys for having guns, 553 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:15,040 because you live in a fearful world. 554 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,680 You know what I mean? And you feel like you need those for protection. 555 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,720 I don't judge you for that. 556 00:39:20,720 --> 00:39:24,800 I just want you to choose love instead of revenge. 557 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,800 It amazed me in the discussion we had, 558 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:30,680 how many people, just because of your story and your message, 559 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,280 were rethinking the behaviours they've done and not just 560 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,120 rethinking the behaviours they done but literally coming 561 00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:40,040 up and saying, "Maybe I'm not going to behave this way, going forward." 562 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,920 And...and I thought that was one of the most powerful things, 563 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,800 because some of us in here have legitimate street credentials 564 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:52,880 and these are people who you... you've maybe saved lives, literally, 565 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:57,040 multiple lives, and I think, just your message in you coming here, 566 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,320 before you got here you had done that. 567 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,880 Now with you being here, we're all rethinking something in our lives, 568 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,440 and I want to thank you for that as well. 569 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:09,040 You guys are my Choose Love Movement ambassadors, if you want to be... 570 00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:10,080 LAUGHTER 571 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:11,680 ..seriously. 572 00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,560 You know, that's what I want, that's my goal. 573 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:21,200 I think that guns are a symptom of a greater problem that we have. 574 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:27,160 Erm, I think, if we took away every gun out there, 575 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:32,000 we could not take away the fear associated with wanting a gun. 576 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,720 And... 577 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:39,720 ..so I believe that we need to deal with the fearfulness 578 00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:43,640 that's in our society, and... 579 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:49,480 when we do that we create a new society that doesn't need guns. 580 00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:02,280 When you are out there on your own, the surest way to stop a bad guy 581 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:06,360 with a gun, is a good guy with a gun. 582 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:07,760 APPLAUSE 583 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:08,800 You know it. 584 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:25,040 WOMEN'S ACTION SPEAKER: My goal is to prevent gun violence. 585 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,720 Our children deserve a safer world. 586 00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:32,440 Stay out of our homes and stay the hell out our gun cabinets, 587 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,800 because this freedom is not for sale. 588 00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 589 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,560 National Rifle Association lobbyists helped to defeat 590 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:43,400 both of President Obama's gun-control bills. 591 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,200 They resisted new background checks on gun owners 592 00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,400 and limiting the number of bullets in gun magazines. 593 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:53,680 Gilles Rousseau has come to the NRA convention to find out why. 594 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:57,240 You own a gun for your protection? Or do you go hunting? 595 00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:58,760 I own several guns. 596 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,400 Several guns. For protection, mainly? 597 00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:04,640 For my protection. I'm not a hunter. My husband hunts. I do not. 598 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,080 For your protection? Yes. 599 00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:08,880 And how do you think you're going to protect yourself 600 00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,760 if there was a break-in in the house? 601 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,800 If... I would do everything in my power, Gilles, 602 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,880 to stop the threat. 603 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,200 Yes, and how would you do that? 604 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,560 If I needed to stop the threat with a firearm, 605 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:26,160 I am more than willing to do that. 606 00:42:28,720 --> 00:42:32,440 Many Americans strongly, strongly believe that our Constitution 607 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:36,600 affords all Americans the right to bear arms. 608 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,600 And there is a very strong belief 609 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:44,680 that the citizenry having arms is, in fact, 610 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:49,240 one of the checks and balances of a government getting out of balance. 611 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:54,200 These are... I would call, "chick guns." Very clearly for women. 612 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,520 Chick guns! Chick guns. OK. 613 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:59,480 'I mean, I was not an anti-gun advocate. 614 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,000 'I'm still not an anti-gun advocate.' 615 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:07,520 Passing this little...teeny, little law how to control who owns guns - 616 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,280 I don't think it's asking for very much, 617 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:15,360 but I've been told by pro-gun people that you give an inch, 618 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:18,880 and the next thing they will come and take your guns away. 619 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:23,680 So that's why they do not want to give anything away right now. 620 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,200 Coming to the gun show was one of the things that 621 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,120 I wanted to experience. 622 00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:30,680 My wife said, "Are you sure you want to go there?" 623 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,800 I said, "Yeah. I don't want to feel the unknown." 624 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:38,880 Now that I know all this gun stuff, and I speak to people like you... 625 00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:44,440 ..you know, it makes it much easier to understand the gun culture. 626 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:48,440 When the horrible incident in Connecticut happened, it's a 627 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:52,320 very human reaction to want to legislate something 628 00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,560 to prevent it from ever happening again. 629 00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:58,200 'I think the size of the magazine is 630 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:02,240 'just an easy way to find something that you can take 631 00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:06,160 'exception to, but in a real-world situation, 632 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:09,160 'where your adrenalin's flowing, 633 00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,400 'you're fighting to save your life.' 634 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:14,240 If I only have five shots, 635 00:44:14,240 --> 00:44:17,400 and I haven't been able to make them work, and that 636 00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:21,240 individual is coming at me, he's already there and I'm in trouble. 637 00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:29,720 If I am able to have more...that I can use to save myself, 638 00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:33,080 I am far better off to have more. 639 00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,400 Because you shoot till you stop the threat. 640 00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:39,720 You don't necessarily shoot to kill. You shoot to stop the threat. 641 00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:45,120 And if I can't do it, well, with the first few, God bless America, 642 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:49,360 give me the backup five, because I may need it. 643 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:50,600 I may need it. 644 00:44:54,240 --> 00:45:00,160 Adam Lanza was a little...skinny, little guy. He was a little man 645 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:04,240 and he carried that in, with another one, plus a pistol. 646 00:45:04,240 --> 00:45:06,840 And like they said, it's not - 647 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:11,280 I mean, the diameter of the bullet is the same as the .22. Yeah. 648 00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:16,200 Lauren's car in the parking lot, maybe 300-400 feet away, 649 00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,840 had three bullets going through her car. 650 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:22,080 They'll... A .22 can penetrate a car. 651 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:28,320 For most people, the respect that they give it is no different 652 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:30,800 than the respect they give to driving a car. 653 00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:33,240 Both a car and a gun kill people. 654 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:36,320 When someone gets in a car accident, it's not 655 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:37,920 normal to blame the car. 656 00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,920 When someone was drinking 657 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:43,000 and driving, we don't blame the car or the alcohol. 658 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,040 Um, we look at what's happening with 659 00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:48,680 the person. And, I think, um, firearms are a tool, 660 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,120 they're a tool for our freedom, they're a tool 661 00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:54,800 for our personal protection, a tool for hunting, sport, 662 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,600 heritage... 663 00:45:56,600 --> 00:46:01,400 And it's awkward to me to blame the tool for what happened, 664 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:05,080 when there was someone holding that tool and misusing that tool. 665 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:08,800 It's just very... It's just like a car. 666 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,280 You can customise it to the nth degree, you know, for speed, 667 00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,920 for accuracy, for personal fit. 668 00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,920 Every day, when I go to work, I work with the poorest of the poor 669 00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:22,000 in our community. Those referred by child welfare and probation. 670 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:26,720 Most of them come with the baggage and the mental health issues 671 00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:32,880 that is profound, and most often the help is inadequate. 672 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:36,240 The resources that I have are so ridiculously limited with 673 00:46:36,240 --> 00:46:37,680 what these people need. 674 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,320 And when I'm trying to bring them 675 00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:45,360 to, like, a hospital for more care, or a facility to help them detox 676 00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:49,400 from drugs, they're turned away, or as soon as their insurance 677 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,560 runs out, whether it's government insurance or otherwise, 678 00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:56,320 suddenly they're healed, even if 12 hours before they were suicidal. 679 00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,680 Well, the insurance won't keep paying 680 00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:02,040 so now they get to go home, even if they just threatened to kill me 681 00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:04,280 and three other people - "Oh, you get to go." 682 00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:09,960 These mass killings really began to occur within the last 683 00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:13,600 couple of decades. So the guns have been there, 684 00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:17,680 what's changed is something in our society. 685 00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,200 This is probably about seven pounds... 686 00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:41,440 INTERVIEWER: Have you had to change what you're allowed to play in the house? 687 00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:44,280 Oh, yes. Very much. 688 00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:48,920 NERF guns that we were going to get for Christmas...had to be 689 00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,320 X-ed off lists. 690 00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,000 Um... 691 00:47:57,880 --> 00:47:59,560 Sling shots, I guess. 692 00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:03,240 The sling shot that I was going to get from the Easter Bunny. 693 00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:10,280 I couldn't handle the idea that one of my sons would enjoy shooting 694 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:15,440 a weapon after, you know, what I'd seen and heard and experienced. 695 00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:19,560 And, you know, I just... I couldn't have it in my house. 696 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:22,960 Oh, OK, I'll help you, Brian. 697 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:26,360 OK, then I'll control your iPod. 698 00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,960 No, no, no, no, no, don't! No, I said don't control it! 699 00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:32,000 It was on one pickaxe. 700 00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:36,080 I accidently put it... OK, wow. 701 00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,760 'I loathe the easy access to guns in our society. 702 00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:43,400 'I loathe the violence.' 703 00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:49,080 I have to remember that I'm raising boys who will, 704 00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:53,000 in the blink of an eye, become men in our society. 705 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:57,600 And regardless of what happens with gun legislation and regardless of 706 00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:01,480 whether that access is tightened or loosened, they are... 707 00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,320 ..going to be participating in a society 708 00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:10,600 that accepts guns as part of its culture. 709 00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:12,240 And was I... 710 00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:16,600 ..helping them or hurting them, by... 711 00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:19,120 ..shielding them 712 00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:25,240 so strongly from any vestige of gun-ness that they clearly 713 00:49:25,240 --> 00:49:27,240 were interested in? Particularly Stevie. 714 00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:36,400 This past year, they had two full-time police officers 715 00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:39,040 at the entrance of the school itself. 716 00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:43,320 What saddens me is that, for my twins especially, 717 00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:46,960 they won't really ever remember anything different. 718 00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:49,600 You know, this is, this is... For them... 719 00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,680 ..this is how school should be. 720 00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:55,080 A police checkpoint... 721 00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,800 ..armed policemen at the door. 722 00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:02,800 Clicking doors, identifying yourself every single time. Badges. 723 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:04,560 Erm... 724 00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:05,840 It's... 725 00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,400 ..you know... 726 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,760 Something is lost in that process 727 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:17,040 and I don't think we'll know what's been lost until much, much later. 728 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,480 LAUGHING 729 00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:23,120 I was still...a part of it 730 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,920 so it touches me, but not as hard as, 731 00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:28,400 I think, the people who are related to the people who died. 732 00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:37,320 INDISTINCT CHAT 733 00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:40,600 You know about...got knocked down? I heard that. 734 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,680 This doesn't mean that nothing has happened to me, 735 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:47,080 and I'm completely fine. 736 00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,160 It doesn't mean that. 737 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:50,880 All it means is just that... 738 00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,440 ..we're still the people who we were. 739 00:50:56,440 --> 00:51:02,840 We've just, sort of, had now an experience that... 740 00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:07,400 ..that, um, makes us 741 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:08,840 change, in a sort of way. 742 00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:16,120 I just think that Sandy Hook is a great town, 743 00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,600 and it will always be 744 00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:23,760 a great town. It's just a bit different because of what happened. 745 00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:27,520 Dot. 746 00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,640 All these features are here. 747 00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,080 And then we start putting it all together. 748 00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:41,000 This weekend is all about Jesse's playground, 749 00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:45,320 where the Sandy Ground Project decided to dedicate 750 00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:50,280 a playground for each of the lives lost at Sandy Hook Elementary. 751 00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:51,640 OK, good morning, everyone. 752 00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:55,720 Welcome to the Sandy Ground Project - Where Angels Play. 753 00:51:55,720 --> 00:51:59,840 And the 20th playground in our beautiful quest to honour all 754 00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,640 the beautiful children and teachers from Sandy Hook, 755 00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:04,600 and rebuild our coastline. 756 00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,080 STIRRING MUSIC 757 00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:19,960 This is something that I have learned throughout my year and a quarter 758 00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,040 since Jesse's death. 759 00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:25,080 And this rings true in every single way for me. 760 00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:31,160 It's a quote by Dawn Hochsprung, Sandy Hook Elementary Principal, 761 00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:33,560 another hero of that day. 762 00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:36,080 And she says, "Be nice to each other. 763 00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:39,000 "It's really all that matters." 764 00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,440 And I want everyone to hold that in their heart. 765 00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:43,080 Because it's true. 766 00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,280 CHEERING 767 00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:52,400 OK, kids, playground's open! 768 00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,440 CHEERING 769 00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:57,080 'I'm still sad, but... 770 00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:58,840 'like, working through it. 771 00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:03,120 'The key, for me, is moving on. 772 00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:05,840 'So that you can be happy, but never forgetting.' 773 00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,960 I came home from my grandmother's, 774 00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:16,760 and on the edge of the bed I saw a piece of graphic paper from a little notepad. 775 00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:18,840 And it was folded up, 776 00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:22,480 so I grabbed it and opened it, not really thinking much of it. 777 00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,520 And it said, "Have a lot of fun." 778 00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,040 Finding the message - 779 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:35,600 "Have a lot of fun" - in my room, after Jesse died, is the most 780 00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:37,600 important thing to me. 781 00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:42,000 Because he...he is the hero in the situation, 782 00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:45,120 and if he thinks that that's what to do, then it's what to do. 783 00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:06,880 You can see the little tunnels? 784 00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:09,120 Yeah, you can see all the little tunnels. 785 00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:15,080 They bite... Did you get bitten, yet? 786 00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,160 No, luckily. Luckily not. 787 00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:18,560 GILLES CHUCKLES 788 00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,080 I got bitten in two different places. 789 00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:27,240 A lot of people think you're just sad for two straight years 790 00:54:27,240 --> 00:54:30,040 and there's never a moment of normalcy - 791 00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:32,840 it's just terrible for years. 792 00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:36,200 There's always good moments where I'm in the middle of doing something 793 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,040 and I think of Lauren and it makes me smile, 794 00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:42,160 as opposed to making me sad at that moment. 795 00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:45,760 The only thing that makes me upset is, like, when we have kids. 796 00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,200 Mm-hm. Yeah. 797 00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:52,880 No... Just that they won't be able to ever see her. Mm-hm. Yeah. 798 00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:54,680 I'll miss her more, then. 799 00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:56,120 Yeah. When You have your own kids? 800 00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,240 Yeah. When they don't have an aunt. 801 00:54:58,240 --> 00:55:01,200 When they should've. Yeah. Yeah. 802 00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:03,200 Mm-hm. 803 00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:05,760 I am discouraged that legislation hasn't been passed yet, 804 00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,320 but I'm not... 805 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,640 I don't think it's not going to happen. 806 00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:13,960 As Obama has told me and my parents, 807 00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:17,240 it takes time for politics to catch up to the people. 808 00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:22,640 It's an issue that people care about now, and they care about more 809 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:26,200 than they did two years ago, so...that's a big change. 810 00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:33,280 What kind of information can you say the contents... 811 00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:35,240 No, I haven't seen this before. 812 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:39,800 Although none of the federal laws Lauren's family have been 813 00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:44,360 campaigning for have passed - at state level, there has been change, 814 00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:48,440 with 21 states strengthening gun laws since the massacre. 815 00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:50,840 ..nesting, hatching ducklings. 816 00:55:56,240 --> 00:55:59,920 Ironically, I'm always putting up soldiers here, in little rows, 817 00:55:59,920 --> 00:56:01,520 like Jesse had them. 818 00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,200 And now, instead of him doing it, I'm doing it. 819 00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,960 By joining others campaigning to address the root causes 820 00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:14,560 of violence, Scarlett has also seen change. 821 00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:18,160 The government has put an extra $100 million into mental health treatment. 822 00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:20,200 Particularly for young people. 823 00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:25,880 INTERVIEWER: You always hear people talking about... 824 00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:28,320 "Well, if you can get closure, then you can move on." 825 00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:31,600 Is that something? Is closure something you can have? 826 00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:33,800 That's a great question. 827 00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:38,200 I'm not sure, maybe the answer is on an individual basis. 828 00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:39,680 I guess... 829 00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,560 I'm trying to think of my own situation, so... 830 00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:46,000 The shooter's dead, his mother's dead, 831 00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:49,200 his father has left his work and is going to spend 832 00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,880 the rest of his life determining if the diagnosis is right - 833 00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:53,920 I think that's what I heard. 834 00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:55,400 Er... 835 00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:58,400 You know, 836 00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:02,080 I've started a foundation, JT has started a fundraising effort, 837 00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:03,920 we're moving forward in a positive way. 838 00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:10,200 Um...I guess that's as good of closure as you can get. 839 00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,240 But you never have closure... 840 00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:21,560 VOICE BREAKING: ..in the death of your loved one... 841 00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,360 ..because...you will always miss them. 842 00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:31,040 And that...loss is always with you. 843 00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:39,240 And so...in that case, there's no closure on grief. 844 00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:42,680 So, you move forward the best way that you know how. 845 00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:49,000 You try to take your event, you try to find meaning in your suffering. 846 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,040 You... 847 00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:54,760 ..er, try to be a good example for people 848 00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:57,920 and you try to change the world and make it a better place. 849 00:57:57,920 --> 00:57:59,320 And I guess... 850 00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:01,960 ..that's as good as it gets. 851 00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:52,960 Good job, bud. 852 00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:54,400 Cut! OK.